I decided that I start to use this commercial diary.. it's easier to use ready-to-write-diary 'cause now I don't have to check the date every time and I can write here even when I'm not at home. Cool.

10:18 AM

Nice. I woke up too early just to hear that we don't have the lesson because all returned their school works already and there's nothing to do. Yee. Now I'm just waiting that I could go to eat.

It's raining and grey..... That's so wrong, it should be SNOWING this time of year. Maybe it's that global warming. Nice. No.

And nice, I read about Mr Bush again and his nice weapon investments that he's so satisfied with. Great, now he's able to blow up the whole word like 100 times and more if he wants. And that health insurance thing doesn't sound any better for me.. though I'm not livin there... hmmm.. Am I pissed of today? Hell yea.

I'm listening to Destiny's Child. I would like to be black. And beautiful. Yea. That would be nice. Then I'm tryin to figure out what nice I could do to this homepage. I could do a new one or then just do something new.. Hmmmmmmm. COULD. It was just a thought.

Have you ever had a feeling that if you died now it wouldn't matter. Just because you feel that you are satisfied with your life? Like all those bands who have stopped doing music and made "Greatest hits" album because they have achieved everything they think they could ever achieve. I have. But it's not the same. I haven't achieved very much in other people's eyes. It just feels pretty empty sometimes. Hard to describe. It feels great and sad at the same time. Empty. When you have thought about it for a while it makes you feel anxious. Then after that.. you start to think "what should I do now". The following moment is as empty as space is (don't count all those planets and stars and moons ' cause you already have seen them all). It doesn't help at all that you know that you haven't seen it all yet. The last phase is "soooo what?" and the meaning of life doesn't exist. It's nice to live but that's about it.

Then that moment goes away and you just start doing the same things you've done all your life. And it's ok because that's the same thing everybody does before they die.

I'm doing one course (curse, yes) diary. My customer service teacher gave that task for my class because we don't have a test at the end of the period. I don't get the idea, it's just writing some bullshit about "what to do when a guy who has red face and shaking hands looks like he wants to kill you". And then I have to move that situation into a library environment. Well I really don't know what I should do in that kind of situation. Just laugh hysterically?

I'm not very into all this commercial shit. It has very little to do with library. We don't sell anything (except plastic bags and used books), we don't force anyone to visit us (people don't need books like they need food to survive) and so on. I've learned one useful thing on this consumer projection law course. It reminded me of one thing that happened this autumn when I went to one supermarket in Oulu. There was a giant poster "Today we spend the day of confidence, we check everyone's bags, so please kindly open your bag when you arrive to a cashier". Haha. My first thought was "Confidence? You're going to dig my bag and call that confidence?". I entered that shop anyway (oh how stupid I was. Made my shopping and came to the cashier. I did'nt open my bag and so this sales woman asked me to open it etc. I didn't do that, just lifted it on the cashier and she kiiiindly opened it and watched if I had stolen something (yea, I sure do that). I left and was pretty offended for a while. Now I know that it wasn't even legal to do that..digging thing. I should've known that then. If I was an american girl, I'd probably would sue this supermarket. They actually spent "illegal day". How is it possible that a 19 year old girl who happens to hate studying commercial subjects knows more about customer projection law than people who have opened a supermarket? Or then they know that people don't know very much about these things and took the opportunity and did what they did. Grrrh. I hate mean people. I want their money and their power. But not that mean-part.

I don't understand. Someone sent me feedback (about my page) put didn't leave any kind of information about her/himself. It happens sometimes but she/he asked if I liked "That 80's show". WELLL. I watched (she or he has been spying on me...) it. I had to check it 'cause I was a big fan of That 70's Show (mmmmm.........). But I hate 80's, too bad. Only thing I like about 80's is punk. That's great. And that girl's hairrrr, woww. Anyway, about the show... I think it was ok to be an american comedy. But nothing more. After That 70's Show I can be just disappointed every time I watch a new comedy (Friends was before That 70's show). It was FRIENDS day today. I enjoy laughing. I wanna live like 200 years. Or 300. or 400. I have to add Friends' homepage to my links...

Tiiired. I stayed inside the house two days, probably 'cause it was raining and those two day at school (thursday and friday) made me real tired. Last week I resigned from the Church. If there's God or if there isn't, I don't think he/she assumes that I have to pay taxes for believing. Which I don't do at the moment anyway. Honestly, any of those religions served on plates haven't tasted good enough that I could've eaten the whole portion (without puking).

Still haven't called and asked for new time for the dentist (surgeon actually). Too scary... maybe I'll do it next year. Haha. Just kidding. NEVER. I start to shake if I even think about.. that....hrrrrrrhhhh....that chair... and....that..... light...*faints*..