http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/index.php This blog is mine. en http://backend.userland.com/rss092 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:47:44 +0000 admin@yoursite.com admin@yoursite.com
I came back from Spain two months ago and I've been physically and psychologically fucked up. Like always but this time totally paralized. When you try to look to any direction but only see black. I don't know how to describe. Creo que es miedo. When you're afraid of everything. Everything. I can't decide stuff. And without making a decision it's impossible to have a proper plan for life. Or anything. Also there are things that happen without planning. After being in Spain I don't know anymore where I wanna live. I kinda got more problems. Even though I'm also glad I went there and learned many new things about myself and the world. But it hasn't made anything easier.

During this last stay I was in Madrid working as an au-pair. Only three months after all cause I felt horrible really soon and now I know that I'm not really a person to work with children. I mean, only with children. And it's not that I wouldn't like kids. I was working in two families. The first one was partly French. Those kids I didn't like much, they were badly educated without almost any kinda respect. And in the other family the kids were nice but as I got sick two times really badly and was already stressed and crying almost every day I didnt find any other option than come back home.

Still I had also nice moments in Madrid. I got new friends from my Spanish classes and met other people. Now that I'm back in Fland I miss the social life I had there. People go out more and meet their friends. I dont know, maybe here I just happen to have few friends who prefer stay at home watching the tv than going for a coffee but when I got used to being around people..it really made me sick when I understood how much time I gotta spend alone in Fland. I still wanna go back to Spain and now the only thing that I need is money.
< ..]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/170/job Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:46:43 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/170/job#cmt
My life is so.

Sometimes I wish.

Then I.

Maybe I should.

To be.

Like today.

Tomorrow I'm gonna.

Next week I have to.

Is there a.

Ahhh what the hell.

You know better than me that.

There is no way nobody.

]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/169/Yes Sun, 31 Dec 2006 02:14:30 +0000 Weird stuff http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/169/Yes#cmt

I just love December. It's so beautiful weather outside that it's hard to stay here inside the house. I took this picture through my window this afternoon. ]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/168/Oh-joy Tue, 05 Dec 2006 02:59:50 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/168/Oh-joy#cmt http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/167/Contact-me Mon, 27 Nov 2006 21:51:28 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/167/Contact-me#cmt
I have nothing left to say (I'm one of those people who wait for their death before they are 30) so I'm gonna add a little photo here from my archives, a boring one like always. But it was summer. SUMMER. I want summer. I don't like snow. Or cold.



]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/166/Thursday Fri, 10 Nov 2006 00:00:45 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/166/Thursday#cmt ]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/165/P Sat, 28 Oct 2006 22:57:28 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/165/P#cmt
European Union summit is held in my hometown next weekend. Which is weird because our town is like... really small. There's no brain using happened among the people who decided to arrange it here. Some streets are closed from cars and people who live near the meeting place are forbidden to open their windows or balcony doors for security reasons. That are? Who gives a shit if some crazy Russian corrupted president comes here. If someone happened to kill him, they would get a new dictator anyway. And nobody even knows EU ministers. I can't name any. Haha. And so what, if someone opens his window anyway, what can the police do to him? A sniper shoots all curious people who didn't get the safety directions? (yea..it wouldn't be a surprise after what happened during Asem when they had too much time.. but still) Count windows like "1...2...from left..and 1..2...3..4..5.. from the top...yea..gotta be flat number 375... arrest him!"? What? Uhhuh.

Also it feels like... well, I don't feel like there's no such thing as democracy. People who have power in this world are not normal people. They live in their own world (yea, ok, I do that too, but it doesn't affect other people's lives). It is exactly like this meeting. They travel here over thousand kms by airplane just for one day, one meeting ("Oh how nice concert house made of wood, oh, nice lake btw, das ist gut, blaablaa"). Paid by people like me. Closed streets. Closed doors. Who has time to care about what they do behind the closed doors if they don't even want people to know what they do there. Probably stuff what Clinton did. Who knows. I don't care anymore. ]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/164/Whos-sick-now Tue, 17 Oct 2006 02:09:26 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/164/Whos-sick-now#cmt
1) Abour school: it really doesn't prepare you for the future in all cases. If school would give a true picture of what's coming it would be like.. every day the same subject, no change of periods, no "end of an aura", every day repeating and learning the same things over and over again that you really know your study books word by word. This doesn't match if you have an interesting job but with all basic jobs, yes.

2) Repeat the 1st

3) At some jobs you don't have to sit still all day long, which is a good thing

4) Repeat the 1st






]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/163/Again-again Fri, 29 Sep 2006 20:02:15 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/163/Again-again#cmt



]]> http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/162/Cracked-Shell Sun, 24 Sep 2006 20:12:39 +0000 General http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/162/Cracked-Shell#cmt http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/161/Evil Thu, 07 Sep 2006 16:13:55 +0000 Big world http://deliwish.ls-aurora.com/post/index/161/Evil#cmt